pouty pouty

Cheryl feels so cheated!!!!!! :(

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2nd consecutive day I met my Mom after school for her shopping escapade after work :) So we could go home together, and also to carry some of her shopping bags haha.

Had a long-as day at school today, so thought I'd take my lappy along for entertainment purposes. There isn't wireless at my school yet (poobums), but I enjoyed the good music over the really short break we were given in between Criminal and Common Law. Just enough time for us to chow down all the chips, half a burger and half a bottle of green tea. In record time.

Also made a recent discovery that I walk past my Mom's all time favourite baking shop everyday on the way to school. Ran a little errand and replenished some of her baking supplies- bread flour and bread improver (???) this arvo before meeting up with her, which wasn't very timely. The lappy's heavy, the bag's heavy with MORE new Judicial Precedent notes- a thick stack at that.

We got some mangoes on the way home. Mangoes so huge we thought they were papayas from afar. SERIOUSLY WILL YOU BEAT THAT! Finally a far cry from scrawny skinny mangoes I always see around. I miss the big red Australian mangoes! But the ones we got this evening were like mutants or something. I've never seen any mango like that before. It's ... wow.

This is where I'm going to start whining about how I got cheated.

This morning on the way to school, I'd passed by the Thai Embassy and realized they were having some sort of a Thai Fair which is how very excitement!! Replied to Joel's text and told him about it, that all of us should visit it sometime soon.

On the way home, he texts to say he wants to go to the Fair, and wants me to ask the rest. So I did. And um, no one really got back to me 'cept Joey. Maybe coz I'd typed his full Thai name out conscientiously, with much effort, blood and sweat. Hahahaha. Ok where was I. Oh yes, meanwhile I'd already taken my shower and decided on what I should wear, CHANGED (oh by the way I'm already at home at this point of time, if you didn't follow. Haha!) and after much deliberation, Joel realises that by the time we make our way down to the Thai Fair, we wouldn't have much time left.

And Joey wants to catch Superman. As in watch the movie. Um .. yes. So change of plans! Which were fine by me! I'm kinda sweet with anything. Just y'know, I'd like to get out soon after I've changed kinda thing.

Anyway the story ends when my fellow Chan tells all of us that HE HAS TO GO BACK TO CAMP (to sew some stuffs on the new uniform). Bleah. What's so important it couldn't wait till the next morning really. Army. Hah.

Ok to be fair I know it isn't your fault Joel. Heh ... but since you keep feeling so guilty then .. yeah. Time to exploit and go for a ride! Nah just jokes :p

"Why do you feel so guilty anyway when Joey doesn't even feel anything?"
"JOEY WILL NEVER FEEL GUILTY ONE LAAAAA."

LOL.

Which, I remember, the Sunday after Retreat- where I'd just got to know Von, Huiyi, Joel & Grace, we were loitering about outside the Chapel coz it was pouring profusely and there was no way we could get to town without getting drenched. Then comes along this guy, whom the rest have asked for a ride to town, and were refused by him. (We later got a ride to the bus stop across church from this other guy, Ricky, who made 2 trips just to get all 6 of us over :D) For the rest of the afternoon, all of them were griping about "Joey" who "will never feel guilty one la", as Von tried sending texts which contained our sob stories, of how we were "cold and shivering in the rain". "Won't work one lor! Joey will never feel bad one!"

HAHA!

So that was my "first impression" of someone I hadn't yet known. Just to clarify though, Joey's an awesome person nonetheless :) And of course everyone said what they did in jest and nothing more.

:D

After prancing about my house for the longest time, talking to the parents and watching bits of the telly here and there, my Mom asked, "I thought you were going out?".

"Bailed out on me."

of r'ships

I used to have a friend, D. I don't know how friendships can be turned into past tense, it's a little beyond me. But this one did anyway. I think.

Believe me, I never wanted things to turn out this way.

But when suddenly you're made to see really how shittily you've been treated as a friend all the while, I just didn't think I could put up with it anymore.

I felt like I was a friend merely for punching-bag purposes. So maybe there never was a friendship anyway. Never in my life have I been treated like that. Pushed around physically and metaphorically, insulted and criticized for every other thing, blamed for things that weren't of my concern. Always "it's your fault", never a sorry for something done wrong. Not even when I was made to wait for 4 hours. Because then it became my fault again. For -- ?? The audacity to even utter those few words. It was as if I'd deserved waiting. To even bring yourself to blame someone else for nothing. I find it hard to believe.

Also because I'm his spare tyre, it seems like I'm constantly being given the "graveyard shift" slot for hanging out. Beats me why I always feel obliged to hang anyway. I must be the silliest person, ever.

Which was why I suddenly questioned myself why I was putting up with all that. Which was also why I don't anymore. One day I was asked to the mall to "talk it out", which I didn't see the need to, coz I've already said all I ever wanted to, and there wasn't a need to get verbally abused again.

But I went. Because I didn't manage to get my point across clearly- that no, no, no, this is clearly redundant. Alas, he was already at the mall. Garh. And I was right. For someone so obnoxious, so self-centered, for someone who thinks the world revolves around him, things were still the same as before the "talk". I went home knowing that I'd given my best in this friendship, I don't regret doing anything I had, nor not doing anything I hadn't. I don't regret ever crossing paths with him.

And I don't have to forgive him. Simply because I never bore any grudges. I never held anything against him.

It was nice doing the little things I could. Like going all the way to the East to surprise a mate with a bday cake and pressies, because I knew having an exam the next day would leave one with no time for bday celebrations. Or the occasional lollies and stuff.

Maybe I just can't see us hanging for now. Does that constitute as me not being able to "forgive and forget"? Am I contradicting myself?

Whilst typing this post out in the arvo, I was led to Colossians 3:12-14:
12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

The patience bit also applies to when I was talking to my Dad this arvo. (Actually it was then that I read the passage. Hrm.) I think the both of us wanted to warmit brarrd talking to each other. We'll always think our perception of things is the right one. I don't think my Dad saw where I was coming from. Anyways it's a simple issue of how we should fill the form up. Haha. It's very weird. Especially when filling in forms from overseas. Because of that, my certs and student IDs from Wellington Girls' often read Jiaxin Chan, or Jiaxin Cheryl Chan. Or something equally funny looking.

Also the reason how Amanda/Darren Joe and Kriselle Poi got their last names. Complicated Kiwis ...

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I just wiped out a bag of Meiji chocolates :x Should stop raiding the fridge unnecessarily.

Anyways. Whoopie it just occured to me that a lot of my mates are all attached! Which is nice to know. And also slightly worrying! I'm going to be so lonely when ALL my mates are attached!

Thing is, it's not so much about finding the right guy. But being the right girl. What you can give, and not what you hope to receive. Having said that, the most important criteria, if any would be that my ideal partner would have to love God very very very very very much. So much so that it spurs me on to love God more and more each day. Oh and you'd have to love my family too.

I kinda miss cooking for someone else, doing all the little nitty gritty things for the other half, just being there for that special someone. Watching his back and supporting him and the stuffs that he does. Yet it's not the person I'm missing, nor the r'ship we shared. Haha. Weird aye. I can say with utmost conviction that the break up was such a blessing to me. I think I miss sharing my life with someone else, and being able to share someone else's life, be part of another family. Kinda thing. Hrm.

Having said that, single is good! To a certain extent of course. The day when all my mates are happily married with kids and I'm starting to grow old and wrinkley- ALONE, I WILL indeed know that something must be seriously wrong with me. Err yeah.

But God is good! I'm getting excited already :p

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I spent an entire night burning my lavender aromatherapy thingum and finally as the tealight burns out, my room smells lovely and lavenderish :) THEN, I left the room door open as I went on to wash up. Unbeknownst to me, Dad was in the kitchen microwaving NOODLES. And as you'd have guessed, my entire room smells like noodles now.

Gonna be a long day of lectures tomorrow. Criminal and Common Law. It's great they've finally stuck the new blinds up. Being on the 12th floor, sun's been really uh, blinding, coz we sit facing the sky, really. Always have the urge to wear my sunnies in class but it's quite ridiculous.

water purifiers

Last night whilst watching the 9pm serial with the fam (YES I watch Ch8 shows! And read subtitles!) I received a call from a random person. Who promptly informed me about some survey I'd done (???) and "CONGRATULATIONS we've arranged an interview for you!".

....

Firstly I can't remember when and what survey I'd done. Of late I have been filling in surveys those poor teens have been approaching me for. I used to just smile and decline but why not since I've got the time and if that'll mean one less survey for them. Soo anyway. Oh yeah since when did filling in a survey form lead to being granted an interview!!!!!!? And praytell for what? But since the guy over the phone was going on and on, and I didn't have any lects today, I decided to go on down anyway. BAD MOVE.

Anyway the gist of it all was how I wasted half a day watching a presentation of a water purifier, and various experiments which were quite cool, that also kept me awake. I don't know how true this is, but apparently when you eat a chicken, you eat the hormones injected into its body as well, and that's what makes you age. The presenter said she was a classic example. "I am 18 but I know I look 25, 26 right?" Suddenly I was awake. All throughout I thought she must've been like 28-30ish. Ayeee ...

She was very nice to have kept me involved in her little experiments coz she knew I was this close to falling asleep. I was already spacing out. Hey man it's a nice sunny arvo out there! Not for sticking around listening to water being purified etc.

After the lengthy presentation, we had to listen to another guy talk about his business plan. SO this whole deal was for them to discuss their business plan. Pfffffft. Another hour later, yet another guy came along to talk to us. Gosh it felt like it was never gonna end. Was stuck with the after-office-hours crowd on the way home.

It's all good I guess. I learnt quite a bit on water purification. Not the process per se. More like the benefits and stuff. It's an eye opener.

Dad texted "Always remember there's no free lunch in the world! This is like time-sharing." Thing is, at least for time-sharing, you're given some incentive after sitting through the pointless couple of hours. We sat through almost 4 hours of presentation/talks back-to-back without even being given a bottle of purified water the company's trying to sell! :o

So much for an "interview" aye?

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Speaking of which, I'd told my dad about how the security guard at BGardens View was quite nasty and rude to Joey last week(?) and he's like "That guy's a bit crazy la. He yawns so loudly at night!" I don't understand why old men have to yawn so loudly, especially when our neighbourhood is so .. echoey? No. Hrm what's the right word to use. We can actually hear a conversation clearly right where we are from when they're at the ground level, speaking at a normal tone. Or hear the house phone ring when we're at the carpark. Things like that. What more yawning like loud yawns could save your life.

random

I'm in a random mood today so I shall post random pictures and blog randomly. Then again I think I'm always blogging randomly anyway, whatever whatever from the top of my head. I LOVE pictures, coz pictures speak a thousand words.

Anyhoo.



This is my lovely family. I love my family very very very much and I don't know what I'd do, who I'll be or what I'd have become without them. Matthew used to be the fairest in our fam, but thanks to waterpolo he's got a nice tan now, but is also this close to being black. Haha.






This is the Clicky. At Jawei's cool condo getaway, that's only used for holding parties and barbeques and little gatherings :) This is dated Christmas 2004. All 8 of us- Debra, Ying Liang, Phoebe, Yarn, Jawei, Nadia, Denise and Cheryl.










THIS. Is 2 years later. The same apartment, same good ol' couch, same people :) Apparently I'm the only one who still looks the same. My dad says I still have the same look, like when I was a baby. Which means to say what, that I've always looked that old? Hahaha.








These are my adorable little pals from Retreat. They're such smart children and so so so SO sweet. Every breakfast lunch and dinner when we met at Manhattan, the sibs never fail to make my heart melt. Also, I haven't been called "Cheryl jie jie" in a loonnnnnng time. Everytime they saw me too! Even my brother doesn't call me jie jie. Haha.

adding some colour to this blog!

To spruce the blog up with pretty colours!
of Huiyi, Von (and an amused me), Joel at Pizza Hut;
of 4/5 of us squashed at the back of the car;
of skuxy Joey on the road;
of Grace, Cheryl, Von at Huiyi's.

Dated umm, some time ago. Let's see ... 11 June (?).
Yay pretty!

rant on a hot sunny day

Still full from the gianormous sammich from brunch. Love the homemade bread! The family bread maker has been rather convenient, although no one really bothers 'cept the mother. Hehe. But it's really nice to wake up to a home smelling like freshly baked bread. My mom's been on a baking frenzy lately- cakes, muffins and the works.

Mom and I went down town yesterday avo- another one of her "stocking up supplies cabinet" shopping sprees. She also had to get something changed, coz she'd bought the wrong item the day before. You know when the crowd gets to your head and you just want to pay up and choop home. So anyway, the sales manager was being slightly anal about it and refused us the small favour, saying it is known that you can't do exchanges (SINCE WHEN?) etc. I say small favour coz I've worked in a departmental store over the various summer holidays before, and it's almost no hassle to do an exchange, give a credit note. Simple as that.

Many times when the sales people give you trouble, they just can't be bothered having to do an exchange. I can't fathom why. It's not even hard work, it makes the customer happy. So why not? Why not just DO IT and save everyone from the unnecessary excuses. Very frequently, although the items purchased have been way past the "exchange by" date, we still do it anyway coz it only makes the customer happy and satisfied for the good service AND, one less complaint letter to the store. It's just that simple. Besides it's nobody's loss. Item gets placed back on the shelf, customer exchanges for something else, customer goes home happily, customer returns to shop because of the good service.

Anyway that is probably the reason why staff at Tangs get sent to various service standard courses, and is something of utmost importance to them, and also the reason for the numerous awards for good service standards! Ok this wasn't meant to be a "shop at Tangs" entry.

Oh yeah so I was saying, in the process of giving heaps of stupid excuses as to why we couldn't have the item changed, the sales manager contradicted herself several times. It was pointless and time consuming and the mall was extremely crowded, as a mall would on a weekend.

THEN, I don't know why I opened my big mouth and spoke of the Consumer's Rights (something Mark Hennagan told us last year at Case, that heaps of people are not aware of, but in fact is so true and powerful!). As soon as I did that, I wanted to laugh. I don't know what got into me I think I just wanted her to cut the crap. Or that whilst she was going on and on with her ridiculous reasons, it was in me bursting to come out. That burning desire to give it to her.

Long story short, I think that shut her up and a couple of minutes later, we got the stuffs exchanged (boy oh boy we could've saved so much time and saliva). From the corner of my eye, she kept staring at me, then looking away when I looked up. It was slightly amusing.

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The sun is so scorching today! Perfect weather for doing my laundry. By the way, why is it so unbelievable that Cheryl is capable of doing the housewifey stuffs like cooking, doing the laundry, cleaning her own room etc? A LOT of people seem to think I'm gu-niangish, princessy, wimpish (and what have you) and always wondered how I survived the years I did in NZ.

We've always brought up to be independant, and to fend for ourselves if need be, bearing in mind the support the family will always give nevertheless. Such that when I left Singapore at 15, it was no mean feat anymore.

In that few years I have had fun, shed tears, done heaps I mightn't have had the opportunity to here in Singapore, regretted doing stuffs, learnt to let go of people and things. And I thank the Lord for always keeping me safe in His arms, in the land where every 1 in 5 people were mentally unstable (no really, I'm serious). And I've grown to be even stronger, by His mighty power.

Being back home makes me lazy. I miss cooking! Western and Asian! And shopping for food. Now, everytime I visit the supermart I don't have to look at raw meat anymore. Ahhh rack of lamb, sirloin steak slurrrrrrpppp. LOVES supermarkets! :D

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So hot. Am going to start sweltering like a pig. Back in NZ, weather was such a fantastic topic for when you meet people you hardly talk to, but just want to make small talk. Everyone talks about the weather- for you can experience 4 seasons in a day, that loony place :p So much so that I could even blog an entire entry about the weather. I amaze myself.

cigar

The room perpetually smells like someone's been taking a smoke (IN the room). And it stinks quite bad. It's been a mystery for like, EVER, and I think I'm going to die of second-hand smoke rahhhh ...

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MSN has crapped out on me and it's highly frustrating when you're in the midst of a convo and you keep getting signed in and out. Me feeling frustrated aside, I feel for those who keep having to see the little "cheryl has just signed in" window pop up every now and then. It's truly annoying, that little box. Maybe I should just disable it.

This morning's bright-and-early running plans were thwarted, even though Joel and I did get up in time and made it to well, my place at given time! Only the skies were cloudy and gloomy and it started pouring :( poobums. Sat in the lounge and watched Dodgeball for the rest of the morning. Senseless humour but entertaining nevertheless. Zhi bailed out on us, so I had no breakfast partner today! Cereal looked rather pathetic coz someone had left just that last bit of milk, and forgotten to put a new carton in the fridge. Jeepers! So it was heaps of cereal in my cereal bowl, and probably 2 tablespoonsful of milk. I do not like freshmilk unchilled. It's just wrong.

There's not much I can do online now, everything's moving at a snail's pace. So I'm reading Contract. Some umm .. light reading. Bedtime stories! :D I used to convince myself I'd read Nigel's Legal History before bedtime, and indeed they were bedtime stories. Put me to sleep instantly. Works like a charm I tell ya ;) Needless to say I never read much of Legal History, which was also my own funeral. Boo ... my bad.

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I had Von, Matthew, Zhi, and Joey over Saturday evening. We were in town after YA service and couldn't decide on where to dine at. Which is always an irony to me, seeing as how Singapore's supposedly a food haven. Indeed it is. And it's precisely because of that we're often spoilt for choice. I never had such a luxury back in NZ, it's such a pain trying to decide between um, Apsara or Sampan or Asian or Meredian (read: BK) or Tokyo Garden/Express. Which by the way, serves almost the same food. It's a matter of whether we'd like to come out smelling like Sampan today, or whether we'd like to get ripped off by Tokyo Garden/Express, or whether we're willing to walk the distance all the way past the Octagon for Asian. Or, of course, Flying Squid, which spells oil and more fat (and coming out smelling like fish and chips ;) ).

(The Japanese/ Korean/ Cambodian/ Vietnamese restaurants all dump non-authentic dishes into their menu. Every said restaurant has Singapore noodles (will you beat that? WHAT is Singapore noodles anyway?), sushi, burgers, ramen, and everything assorted. It amuses us a lot.)

So round and round we went, and finally decided to have pizza at Cheryl's. Yay. However, the parents were so sweet to drive out to grab some dinner for us. 'Twas a nice cosy night :)

I really enjoyed the company.

of whys

I'd gone for a morning walk into town just a while ago, and town's so lovely when it's not all crowded and full of people and sweaty bodies. The morning sunshine makes me happy too.

I like walks alone coz they give me time to think, to reflect on my life, to marvel and amaze- at the wonders of things and how they've come to be- and sometimes marvel and amaze at how stupid and silly I'd been, to have done the stuffs that I have, then regret after.

But it's always the case, isn't it? Sometimes you never intend for something to happen, yet it does in a moment of folly, and wham-bam .. there it goes, another ridiculously stupid mark in the history of your life. Hrm.

(Why is it I always have so much to say when I'm alone and walking and thinking but when I have the time/ opportunity to type it out/ pen it down, I can't for the world remember what it was I'd wanted to say. Garh.)

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Some time ago I was at a shop getting a top (some really pleated tube top), and there was this girl who was getting the same top as I was. She whined to her boyfriend whilst waiting at the queue for the check out, "I'm going to get fits ironing this!" Phoebe and I gave this slight snicker. BUT TODAY, I think I almost got fits ironing my top that'd came back from the laundry. Oh the horrors- there were just so many pleates it was never-ending, and quite scary at that.

For the longest time I didn't have to look forward to weekends. Every other day was a free day for me and I could do whatever I wished! Which was nice for a while but got mundane. School's taking up a lot more time now and TGIF, tomorrow!

Although having said that, I'm really enjoying lects. Even the Legal History-ish aspects of it (Common Law/ Public Law) that I used to once loath when I had Nigel at Otago last year. Nigel was cool, just perhaps too cool for me, I didn't get 90% of what he was saying, for the entire year :S

God is so good to me. Everything just seems to fall into place as I sit and (still) marvel at His goodness. It's amazing how everything just works out in the end, and you realize that indeed, trust in the Lord. Which I must admit, I was skeptical initially. I didn't know what was going on and being the kid at home- I hardly had any say.

Thank you Lord for saving this wretched child of yours, for making me see light once again, for putting everything in place. I can't imagine going through another year of living that sinful life, albeit it appearing seemingly happy chirpy sweet (sugar + spice and all things nice haha).

Thank you Lord, for all You've done.